MySpace, March 4 – 11, 2008

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Phoney Baloney

Okay, so I’ve had a cell phone for a week now. This is not earth-shattering news (“Where was the kaboom? There should have been an earth-shattering kaboom.” 10 pt. if you can guess the reference there) to most people, but this is the first cell phone I’ve had that was mine, and the first phone that we as a couple have had since, oh, I’d guess 1998 or so. At that time we got a 15-minutes-for-$15 plan, and threw a phone in the glovebox of the car. When it started costing us $50 per month if we made a call, we canned it. It served its purpose when my wife was commuting from Lafayette, Indiana to Indianapolis, Indiana, which if you don’t know Indiana geography, is a 50-mile drive each way.

Anyway, last week we entered the 21st century and got a pair of phones on Sprint’s cheapest family plan. I like the phone, it’s a cheap knockoff of a Razr — which I guess is a good phone or something — and it has a camera and some web things to play with. My wife’s is pink. I have exactly one contact in my phone, and it’s my wife. Wait, I take that back, I have my dad in there, too. That’s two contacts. I’m not giving my number out to everybody — hell, I’m not giving my number out to anybody at this point. I’m paying like $50/month to have an inert phone in my pocket, basically.

But having one of these things has made me look even closer at the nasty, rude, boneheaded and dangerous things people do while on their phone. Driving is a big one. I seem to be behind more and more people who shake their car around like a rag-doll and play chicken with oncoming traffic…and when I can get beside them, they have that phone crammed up agains their ear. I just want to get a cellphone jammer (illegal in the U.S., but selling like hotcakes out the back of Manhattan electronics stores) except I want my jammer to broadcast the message: “Hang up your phone and drive your fucking car!”

Hellsticks, cell phones today are like cigarettes were when I was a kid. When people exit a building, they have the phone in their hand before they’re even out the door, and it’s flicked open and dialed after two steps. There are so far unproven theories that cell phones can cause brain cancer, and are equivalent to a couple of drinks, when it comes to driving ability. Ladies’ purses used to have a cigarette pocket on them, now they have a cellphone pocket. There are movements to ban driving and talking on a cell phone.

Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. They’re phones. I have no desire to always be talking to someone, and I refuse to let myself be tethered to a ringing phone when I’m not at work. Really, I don’t get much from hanging on a phone talking to anyone. It’s a phone…call me if you need me to bring home milk and snow tires. I’ll call you if my leg’s broken or my car’s stuck.

Bah. ’nuff said.

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Monday, March 10, 2008

Now We Can Vote!
Current mood: apathetic

So…tomorrow we will have owned our house for one week. We are homeowners — Landowners, even, so now we can vote. I should be excited about it. I’m not. This isn’t the first time we’ve owned a home, and this isn’t even LIKE the first time we owned a home, but that time went so horribly wrong that it’s kind of taken the fun out of it. It’s sort of like, not special to me anymore…home-ownership is supposed to be a big deal, but based on our first experience, it’s just a money-suck. I suppose it helps that we bought the house we already live in, so there’s no big move associated with closing on our house….we really just send our rent somewhere else. And if the furnace breaks WE have to pay for it. Hooray.

It’s not that this house is BAD or anything. It’s been rented for the past four years, so it’s kind of dingy, but nothing’s really trashed or anything. We have plans to replace ugly carpets, countertops and stuff. We have plans to paint, and install wainscoting, and finish the basement, and plant a garden and stuff. We can MAKE this house really nice, but right now it’s just kind of grungy and brown. Yes, brown. The outside is brown, the carpet is brown, the floors are brown, the counters are brown and the inside paint is the worst, it’s kind of a tan/brown/pink/orange congomeration, depending on the light. Uck.

But once we do that stuff, this house will be great — we have a back deck and a private back yard with woods. We have a garage, and enough room for all of us, and the house is laid out fairly nicely. Our last house was just too small — 832 square feet for a family of (at that time) four is just impossible. We ate each other, and it was bad. On top of that, our last house was built with a near-total lack of quality…we had shingles blow off, we had siding blow off, we had cracks in our foundation and warps in our roof, and we had zero privacy on our lot. And if we still had that house today, we’d have been lucky to sell it for 80% of what we bought it for in today’s plummeting house market.

So what’s my point? Good question. Let’s see…we bought our house. I’m not excited. Home-ownership has been a let-down for us. I think that’s it. Maybe once we get some of our plans in motion I’ll get more excited. Until then….

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Saturday, March 08, 2008

I’m 72% Redneck. Aw, gawd.

Thank you, Margie, for giving me another addictive quiz. So I’m 72% redneck. I’m kind of surprised by that…if you knew me you wouldn’t picture me living on a farm or camping or eating squirrel, I guess. I’m as likely to say “predicament” as “trouble.” But I guess I’m a redneck. H’yuck.

Are You A Redneck

(x) have you ever lived in the country?
(x)shot a gun?
(x) own a gun?
(x) hunted? (3D targets)
(x) driven a truck?
Subtotal= 5

() chewed tobacco?
(x) gone camping?
(x) listened to country?
()owned a country cd?
(x)fished?
(x) worn a cowboy hat?
(x) worn cowboy boots?
Subtotal= 10

(x) ridden a horse?
(x) seen a farm?
(x) worked on a farm?
(x) lived on a farm? veg. farm w/ rabbits, doves, chickens
(x) fed a farm animal?
() worn carhartt?
(x) lived in a small town?
(x) worked on a car?
Subtotal= 17

(x) seen a nascar race?
(x) been to a nascar race?
(x) been to an oval track?
(x) seen a demolition derby?
() been in a demolition derby?
(x) seen a figure 8 race?
(x) talked on a cb radio?
(x) had a cb in your car?
(x) seen smokey and the bandit more than 10 times?
Subtotal= 25

(x) watched the dukes of hazzard episodes?
() owned more than two cars that don’t run?
(x) been to a junkyard
() been a racist
() been in a INTERNATIONAL vs john deere argument?
() gone cow tipping?
(x)made love in a truck on a back road
Subtotal=28

() had to ponder whether your family said tire or tower
() been sprayed with deer pee?
(x) worn camo?
(x) ridden a 4-wheeler?
() owned a cabin?
(x) went swimming in the pond?
Subtotal= 31

() drank white lightening?
(x) had your whole family on the front porch?
() thought that wal-mart was the coolest place ever?
() own a shirt with a rebel flag?
(x) eaten venison (deer meat)?
(x) cooked over a fire?
(x) ever been muddin?
(x) ate squirrel?
Subtotal= 36

Overall= 36

Now multiply your score by 2 and post it as “I’m –% redneck”.

YEEHAWW! If your redneck score is over 50%, you can officially call yourself a redneck

Dont sound surprised!!!!

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Wednesday, March 05, 2008

My Wife.

I don’t blog about my wife. Ever. There are consequences for that.

Currently listening :
She Hates Me
By Puddle of Mudd
Release date: 02 September, 2002

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Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Antidepressants, Redux

Okay, I tried to post a blog last night, and got too far in to start over when I fumble-fingered some hotkey-sequence-of-instant-Firefox-death. I guess ctrl-shift-I (or whatever it was) means “close immediately, the user wants to fuck up what he was doing.” Not that I’m bitter.

So anyway…I read someone’s blog — someone I may not know, someone who may not be on Myspace, and the last line of their blog mentioned antidepressants, and how you can’t find life in them…life is in you. Had nothing to do with most of their blog. But it reminded me of my former life (say, five years ago or so) when I was on the things.

Here’s the deal…we lived in Indiana for five years. Indiana is the polar opposite of me. To get along with my co-workers, I had to not be me. And that screws one up. I also lost my grandmother, grandfather, mother and an unborn baby while I lived there. Indiana was my very own special five years of hell. And then I moved from there to here, and started a high-stress Help Desk job — national turnover rate: 18 months. I lasted: six years.

So I went from everything-except-my-job-is-Hell Indiana, directly to my-job-is-intense-burning-Hell Michigan. And I burned out…I burned out hard, and totally, down to a smoldering, black bit of volcanic slag. And then I spent another two years at that job. You do what you have to if you support a family.

So yeah, at one point along the way, I got set up with antidepressants. When you start taking them, you don’t immediately feel better. You feel drunk. You feel just-past-buzzed for the entire day. For a month. It takes a month for your brain to accept what the pills are doing to it and settle down.

And then after two more months, that breed of pill stopped working for me. Did I mention that I have huge tolerances to pills? When I take cold medicine, it only works the first time around. If I get another box of the same stuff, it doesn’t work. So they switched my meds. And I spent another month drunk. And after that, I had several months in which the pills made me not-depressed.

That’s what they do. They don’t make you happy. They make you not-depressed. They cut out the lows, and they cut out the highs as well, and they leave you with a middle-nothing kind of blah, day in and day out.

And then that prescription started losing its effect, and I was staring down the barrel of another med change, and another month of side effects, and that’s when it happened. I had an epiphany.

It’s silly, actually, and sounds flippant. I realized that my problems were all in my head. Yeah, I know how it sounds, but it’s deeper than that. I was driving home from work, and thinking, and I realized that there is no drug, no therapist, no doctor that is going to know what’s going on in my head as well as I do. If anyone is going to take charge of my upstairs it’s me. My depression and associated stuff…was all in my head. MY head. I was done being a collection of symptoms, and ready to be ME again. I weaned myself off the drugs, and haven’t taken them since.

It scared my boss shitless. She became my new manager while I was deep in the burned-out-depressed-bitter-cynical-drugged-poor-me-I’m-hurting crap…and then I told her “Oh, I went off my meds.” Her eyes bugged out of her head. It was funny, though I understand in retrospect. There I was, one of the problem-children of her department, and that was all she knew of me, and she thought I was going to snap and start killing people with a hacksaw. Oh…good times…

But there it is. I’ve been there, and somehow managed to snap myself out of it. Life is inside you. YOU. Not a bottle of pills. Use them as a tool, as a crutch…as a TEMPORARY crutch. But never let them be your life, because your life will be a middle-nothing blah, and that’s not living. If you don’t want to be depressed anymore…don’t be. It’s as simple as that. It’s as blisteringly hard as that.

Peace out. (delivered like Kip on ‘Napoleon Dynamite’)

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MySpace, Feb. 29 – March 3, 2008

Monday, March 03, 2008

Washington’s Manners, Pt. III

Here are the last of Washington’s rules of Etiquette.

66th Be not forward but friendly and Courteous; the first to Salute hear and answer & be not Pensive when it’s a time to Converse.

Be friendly and say “hi.” M’kay.

67th Detract not from others neither be excessive in Commanding.

Are you building them up, or breaking them down?

68th Go not thither, where you know not, whether you Shall be Welcome or not. Give not Advice without being Ask’d & when desired do it briefly.

Don’t go where you’re not wanted…and don’t give unwanted advice. Got it.

69th If two contend together take not the part of either unconstrained; and be not obstinate in your own Opinion, in Things indiferent be of the Major Side.

Be impartial when others fight. Good idea. But side with the majority on little things? I dunno, maybe people still do that.

70th Reprehend not the imperfections of others for that belongs to Parents Masters and Superiours.

Parents, Masters and Superiours. Hey! I’m a parent! I can reprehend the imperfections of others! Woo-hoo!

71st Gaze not on the marks or blemishes of Others and ask not how they came. What you may Speak in Secret to your Friend deliver not before others.

Marks or blemishes of others? To me, this points up another glimpse of pre-Revolutionary society. I’m guessing that many people had scars from diseases and poxes, and it was polite to overlook them?

72d Speak not in an unknown Tongue in Company but in your own Language and that as those of Quality do and not as the Vulgar; Sublime matters treat Seriously.

So Ebonics is out?

73d Think before you Speak pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your Words too hastily but orderly & distinctly.

IM UR BFF. TTFN, ROFLMAO. C’ya.

74th When Another Speaks be attentive your Self and disturb not the Audience if any hesitate in his Words help him not nor Prompt him without desired, Interrupt him not, nor Answer him till his Speech be ended.

75th In the midst of Discourse ask not of what one treateth but if you Perceive any Stop because of your coming you may well intreat him gently to Proceed: If a Person of Quality comes in while your Conversing it’s handsome to Repeat what was said before.

76th While you are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom you Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to his face.

Don’t point. It’s not polite.

77th Treat with men at fit Times about Business & Whisper not in the Company of Others.

Keep shop-talk at work…

78th Make no Comparisons and if any of the Company be Commended for any brave act of Vertue, commend not another for the Same.

79th Be not apt to relate News if you know not the truth thereof. In Discoursing of things you Have heard Name not your Author always A Secret Discover not.

“Always a secret discover not.” I know a LOT of people who need to live by this. Smacks of “don’t gossip,” as a general summation, doesn’t it?

80th Be not Tedious in Discourse or in reading unless you find the Company pleased therewith.

81st Be not Curious to Know the Affairs of Others neither approach those that Speak in Private.

Okay, I seriously have neighbors…or maybe more accurately ‘neighbor’…who needs to be smacked upside the head with this rule in two-by-four format.

82d undertake not what you cannot perform but be carefull to keep your promise.

Do ya want me to lasso ya the moon, Mary?

83d when you deliver a matter do it without passion & with discretion, however mean the person be you do it too.

Mean in this case means “lowly,” I’m pretty sure.

84th When your Superiours talk to any Body hearken not neither Speak nor Laugh.

Again with the “your superiors” bit. And when they talk, don’t listen, speak or laugh?

85th In Company of these of Higher Quality than yourself Speak not til you are ask’d a Question then Stand upright put of your Hat & Answer in few words.

“Those of higher quality than yourself.” I’m like, totally seriously. This concept blows my mind. And to stand up, take off your hat and answer briefly? Is it like: “Sergeant! The Private Wishes to Go Wee-Wee, Sergeant!”

86th In Disputes, be not So Desireous to Overcome as not to give Liberty to each one to deliver his Opinion and Submit to the Judgment of the Major Part especially if they are Judges of the Dispute.

So…let everyone have their say…don’t talk over people? How quaint.

87th Let thy carriage be such as becomes a Man Grave Settled and attentive to that which is spoken. Contradict not at every turn what others Say.

Heck, I have a daughter that needs to “contradict not” just a bit more.

88th Be not tedious in Discourse, make not many Digressigns, nor repeat often the Same manner of Discourse.

“Did I ever tell ya of the time I chased that rooster when I was in DaNang? Or was it Pa-Trang? It was Viet-Nam, anyway….So there I was….”

89th Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust.

90th Being Set at meat Scratch not neither Spit Cough or blow your Nose except there’s a Necessity for it.

Don’t spit, cough or blow your nose at the table. Or on the table. Unless you need to. Nice.

91st Make no Shew of taking great Delight in your Victuals, Feed not with Greediness; cut your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table neither find fault with what you Eat.

Actually, this is pretty good. Don’t be a hog, don’t be loud with the “Mm-Mm Good!” Don’t lean on the table, and don’t say “Eww, I HATE Lima Beans!”

92d Take no Salt or cut Bread with your Knife Greasy.

Don’t dip yer dirty silverware in the stuff other people wanna eat.

93d Entertaining any one at table it is decent to present him wt. meat, Undertake not to help others undesired by the Master.

The Master?

94th If you Soak bread in the Sauce let it be no more than what you put in your Mouth at a time and blow not your broth at Table but Stay till Cools of it Self.

95th Put not your meat to your Mouth with your Knife in your hand neither Spit forth the Stones of any fruit Pye upon a Dish nor Cast anything under the table.

Oh, so DON’T spit my pits, and DON’T toss stuff under the table. My bad.

96th It’s unbecoming to Stoop much to ones Meat Keep your Fingers clean & when foul wipe them on a Corner of your Table Napkin.

97th Put not another bit into your Mouth til the former be Swallowed let not your Morsels be too big for the Gowls.

98th Drink not nor talk with your mouth full neither Gaze about you while you are a Drinking.

99th Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after Drinking wipe your Lips breath not then or Ever with too Great a Noise, for its uncivil.

Yes. Uncivil it is.

100th Cleanse not your teeth with the Table Cloth Napkin Fork or Knife but if Others do it let it be done wt. a Pick Tooth.

Gross! People used to clean their teeth with the tablecloth?

101st Rince not your Mouth in the Presence of Others.

Argle-argle-argle-argle…

102d It is out of use to call upon the Company often to Eat nor need you Drink to others every Time you Drink.

103d In Company of your Betters be not longer in eating than they are lay not your Arm but only your hand upon the table.

104th It belongs to the Chiefest in Company to unfold his Napkin and fall to Meat first, But he ought then to Begin in time & to Dispatch with Dexterity that the Slowest may have time allowed him.

105th Be not Angry at Table whatever happens & if you have reason to be so, Shew it not but on a Chearfull Countenance especially if there be Strangers for Good Humour makes one Dish of Meat a Feast.

“Good Humour Makes One Dish of Meat a Feast.” God, I love this line. This is a nugget of 200 year old awesomeness that I have to remember to uncork at our dinner table when the kids are acting up.

106th Set not yourself at the upper of the Table but if it Be your Due or that the Master of the house will have it So, Contend not, least you Should Trouble the Company.

107th If others talk at Table be attentive but talk not with Meat in your Mouth.

108th When you Speak of God or his Atributes, let it be Seriously & wt. Reverence. Honour & Obey your Natural Parents altho they be Poor.

109th Let your Recreations be Manfull not Sinfull.

Awww….not even a little sinful?

110th Labour to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Celestial fire Called Conscience.

Amen.

Finis

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Saturday, March 01, 2008

I Can’t Help It…I Love These MeMe Things…
Current mood: amused

Hi, my name is: Puddintame…ask me again and I’ll tell you the same.but you can call me: Ray, or you can call me Jay, or you can call me Rayjay.

Never in my life have I: been so ashamed of you kids! Honestly, you just wait until your father gets home!

The one person who can drive me nuts is: out looking for more nuts.

My high school is: a vague, mostly bad memory from twenty years ago.

When I’m nervous: I’m bad, but when I’m not I’m even better.

The last song I listened to was: “Psycho,” by Puddle of Mudd.

If I were to get married right now: I’d be a Mormon. I’d also be a living testament to the profoundly low standards of some poor woman.

My hair is: leaving the places it should be, and growing in places it shouldn’t.

When I was 4: Aids was the word that came after “Kool” and “Band.”

Last Christmas: Santa traveled the world bringing delightful presents to all the good little boys and girls.

I should be: so lucky.

When I look down I see: my knees.

The happiest recent event was: happy….and recent.

If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I would be: The Soup Nazi. Or the Lieutenant Bookman, the library detective.

By this time next year: it’ll be 2009.

My current gripe is: a two-handed overhand gripe. What? No, I thought it said “grip.” Sorry, my bad.

I have a hard time understanding: how most people can survive a full 24 hour period with the near-total lack of brain activity they display.

There’s these girls: And then there are THOSE girls.

If I won an award, the first person I would call: would say that — wait a minute, what kind of an award are we talking about here? If I won “Man of the Year,” it’d be different than if I won the “Skankiest Toilet Ever” award.

I want to buy: low and sell high.

Where do you plan to visit: Soon? Colonial Williamsburg. Later? Everywhere else.

If you spent the night at my house: I would sincerely hope that we had invited you.

The world could do without: Access Hollywood, the E! network, Evangelists, Closed-minded people, Credit Cards, Grits, Toyota, Clamato Juice, Poverty, Cable TV, Fast Food, The Internet, and Carrot Top.

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: Lunch, at work on Thursday.

Most recent thing someone else bought me: a new belt.

My middle name is: In between my first and last names.

In the morning I: Get up and go to work, like the wage-slave that I am.

Last night I was: incredible. Of course, by “incredible” I mean that I fell asleep in an armchair while watching basic cable.

There’s this guy I know who: makes the best gazpacho. Dang!

If I was an animal I’d be a: Dromedary. Or maybe not.

A better name for me would be: irrelevant.

Tomorrow I am: sure the sun will rise.

Tonight I am: pretty sure it’s dark.

My birthday is: cause for great rejoicing and celebration among the people.

I got this from: Margie

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Friday, February 29, 2008

Washington’s Manners, Pt. II
Current mood: fascinated

So here I go with more of George Washington’s rules of etiquette…

35th Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and Comprehensive.

It’s why men, universally, refuse to spend long days wandering around at the mall. Get in. Get Out. That’s our rule.

36th Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought not to use many ceremonies to Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect and highly Honour them, and those of high Degree ought to treat them with affibility & Courtesie, without Arrogancy.

Y’mean…the peons should honor the wealthy…and the wealthy shouldn’t belittle the peons?

37th In Speaking to men of Quality do not lean nor Look them full in the Face, nor approach too near them at lest Keep a full Pace from them.

Their vision is based on movement…if you don’t move, they can’t see you…

38th In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physicion if you be not Knowing therein.

39th In writing or Speaking, give to every Person his due Title According to his Degree & the Custom of the Place.

Due Title? “Oh, you’re a HICK, aren’t you?”

40th Strive not with your Superiers in argument, but always Submit your Judgment to others with Modesty.

Okay, this one’s just really alien to today’s culture. It says we should just accept what our “betters” say. This one really just doesn’t fly in today’s society.

41st Undertake not to Teach your equal in the art himself Proffesses; it Savours of arrogancy.

Heh heh heh…

42d Let thy ceremonies in Courtesie be proper to the Dignity of his place with whom thou conversest for it is absurd to act the same with a Clown and a Prince.

43d Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary Passion will aggravate his Misery.

44th When a man does all he can though it Succeeds not well blame not him that did it.

On the other hand, this rule has been overdone these days, so that now our kids get trophies for trying, and “everybody’s a winner for doing their best” has flourished.

45th Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in publick or in Private; presently, or at Some other time in what terms to do it & in reproving Shew no Sign of Cholar but do it with all Sweetness and Mildness.

Criticize constructively, and with an eye toward the dignity of the person you’re criticizing. Nice.

46th Take all Admonitions thankfully in what Time or Place Soever given but afterwards not being culpable take a Time & Place convenient to let him him know it that gave them.

So don’t make a scene in public, but make sure to stick up for yourself later. Nice.

47th Mock not nor Jest at any thing of Importance break no Jest that are Sharp Biting and if you Deliver any thing witty and Pleasent abstain from Laughing there at yourself.

Wow. Okay, um…Don’t make fun of anything of Importance? I pretty much slaughter this rule every day of my life. How are our authorities going to stay grounded in reality of we don’t mock their self-importance regularly?

48th Wherein wherein you reprove Another be unblameable yourself; for example is more prevalent than Precepts.

When you point a finger at someone else….three fingers point back at yourself. Or… Let he who is without blame cast the first stone.

49th Use no Reproachfull Language against any one neither Curse nor Revile.

50th Be not hasty to beleive flying Reports to the Disparagement of any.

It IS interesting to hear some of the gossip that flies around the neighborhood. Sometimes it leaves me wondering “now just where the heck would she have heard THAT one?”

51st Wear not your Cloths, foul, unript or Dusty but See they be Brush’d once every day at least and take heed that you approach not to any Uncleaness.

Here’s one of those clues to the norms of society back then. “Brush” your clothes once per day? What about “wash?” Wow, how bad did people smell back then?

52d In your Apparel be Modest and endeavour to accomodate Nature, rather than to procure Admiration keep to the Fashion of your equals Such as are Civil and orderly with respect to Times and Places.

So dress nicely, but don’t go for the bling, or dress like a pimp, or sport yer FUBU and Adidas, yo.

53d Run not in the Streets, neither go too slowly nor with Mouth open go not Shaking yr Arms kick not the earth with yr feet, go not upon the Toes, nor in a Dancing fashion.

I’m just trying to picture someone walking down the street…wait, DANCING down the street, mouth open, arms shaking, feet kicking dirt.

54th Play not the Peacock, looking every where about you, to See if you be well Deck’t, if your Shoes fit well if your Stokings sit neatly, and Cloths handsomely.

55th Eat not in the Streets, nor in the House, out of Season.

Good. I do think that a “House” was the word for “Restaurant” back then.

56th Associate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation; for ’tis better to be alone than in bad Company.

I really like this one. This rule rings true today, even if it is followed by almost nobody.

57th In walking up and Down in a House, only with One in Company if he be Greater than yourself, at the first give him the Right hand and Stop not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face towards him, if he be a Man of Great Quality, walk not with him Cheek by Joul but Somewhat behind him; but yet in Such a Manner that he may easily Speak to you.

??? I have almost no idea what he’s talking about.

58th Let your Conversation be without Malice or Envy, for ’tis a Sign of a Tractable and Commendable Nature: And in all Causes of Passion admit Reason to Govern.

59th Never express anything unbecoming, nor Act agst the Rules Moral before your inferiours.

60th Be not immodest in urging your Freinds to Discover a Secret.

61st Utter not base and frivilous things amongst grave and Learn’d Men nor very Difficult Questians or Subjects, among the Ignorant or things hard to be believed, Stuff not your Discourse with Sentences amongst your Betters nor Equals.

62d Speak not of doleful Things in a Time of Mirth or at the Table; Speak not of Melancholy Things as Death and Wounds, and if others Mention them Change if you can the Discourse tell not your Dreams, but to your intimate Friend.

63d A Man ought not to value himself of his Atchievements, or rare Qualities of wit; much less of his riches Virtue or Kindred.

Interesting. Seems to be pushing modesty.

64th Break not a Jest where none take pleasure in mirth Laugh not aloud, nor at all without Occasion, deride no mans Misfortune, tho’ there Seem to be Some cause.

Do not laugh where nobody has a sense of humor. Make fun of nobody for being down on their luck.

65th Speak not injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none although they give Occasion.

That’s hard for me, too. I probably do this too much.

Okay, that’s enough of this for me for one night.

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MySpace, Feb. 2 – 7, 2008

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Where Did The Normal People Go?
Current mood: angsty

This has been building up for a while. Where are the “normal” folks? Where are the people who look like they… (deep breath) …don’t reek of smoke, bathe regularly, get their hair cut by professionals, get their hair cut more than twice a year, wear clothes that don’t advertise NASCAR or a snowmobile, have all their teeth, have skin that isn’t grey, completed the 12th grade, don’t talk with a Tennessee back-hills accent, don’t wear Treebark camoflage, don’t distrust the police, don’t despise “collidge boys,” don’t fear computers, don’t date their cousins, don’t live in a trailer, don’t feed their dogs better than their kids, don’t swear in daily conversation and don’t part out dead cars for money?I swear to gawd, I don’t fit in where I live because I’m college educated, well-dressed, relatively well groomed — hell, I’ll sum it up as “middle class,” in mindset if not in actual income. But it’s true, I don’t fit in here, not even a little bit. Buckley, Michigan is truly a town of good, honest, hard-working hicks — and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Folks here have been by-and-large good-natured and pleasant, just working-class, that’s all. Buckley has been a great place to live for the past two years, and I feel like I’ve been accepted by the community, even while I don’t fit in with the community. Kind of like I’m acceptably different, I guess.

But the more I look around, the more I feel like I’ll never even LOOK like a local unless I start wearing Carhartt’s and a RealTree camo hat, shave my beard but grow a mustache that covers my mouth, get some wraparound Dale Earnhardt-style sunglasses and wear them everywhere, and ditch my Volvo for a Chevy Truck. And even then the illusion will be shattered as soon as I open my mouth, and out comes “Pray tell, but what might we be having as accoutrements to this entree?” and not “Whutcha got fer sahd diyushes?”

Okay, so I work in a hospital. Sure, I’m a computer nerd there, but I get out and about, and I see patients and their families in the hallways. Lately, by gawd, it seems like they’ve pushed the rock out of the mouth of the cave and tumbled into town. I don’t know what makes people’s skin that awful gray color, but I’d guess it’s a combination of cigarettes and cheap beer and incest, if I had to guess. I’m seeing the people where I chant to myself: don’t catch this elevator, don’t catch this elevator, don’t catch this– “What floor ya headed for, sir?” Dammit! After sharing an elevator for three floors, it reeks of stale ashtray so bad I have to drink from the water fountain to wash the taste out of my mouth.

And it’s not like the exception is the guy missing his front teeth — but sticking his tongue through the gap. No, they’re everywhere, and people wearing clothes that look like they’ve been washed recently are the exception. And what’s the deal…I live in Michigan. We’re 20 minutes from the 45th parallel — the halfway mark to the North Pole. So stop with the shit-kicking Tennessee accent already. Yew ain’t in yer mamma’s shotgun shack annymore, Billy-Bo-Bob. Yew is in de North, wit Ya-yunkees, and yew’d better deal wit’ it.

So I look around at my neighbors (speaking in a larger sense here, not just folks on my street) and what does it look like they value? Toys (snowmobiles, dirt bikes, jet-skis, quadrunners, etc), pro sports, NASCAR, smoking, going to the bar, hunting, country music and pickup trucks. What do I value? Providing for my family, making my yard look good, buying a home, culture (interesting food, music like jazz, artwork), raising my kids. Where do I have to live where I’m the normal one, and I can have a conversation without feeling like I have to censor every other word lest I get “the look,” or one of the oh-so-common “stock replies.” As follows:

Them: “What do you do?”
Me: “I fix computers.”
Stock Answer: I don’t know how you can sit in front those things for hours.

Them: “What are you listening to?”
Me: “Ella Fitzgerald.”
Stock Answer: How can you listen to that? Put on some Hank Williams.

Me: (drives up in, washes, or is seen near our Volvo)
Stock Reply: That sure is a fancy car.

Them: “What’d you do last weekend?”
Me: (any answer other than “not much.”)
Them: (facial expression like they just watched an elephant crawl out of a Coke bottle.)

So really…where are all the “normal” people?

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Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Okay, I love these things, too.
Current mood: working

1. What is the best way to get over someone?
- – Ladder. No, wait…helicopter. No, wait…promotion to management.

2. What makeup do you wear on a daily bases?
- – I’m a dude. So only a little bit of eyeliner and some blush.

3. Is your AIM away message on?
- – I don’t use AIM.

4. If you could eat one meal for the rest of your life, what?
- – Lunch. Breakfast is too early and wouldn’t carry me until the next morning.

5. Where would you like to be right now?
- – Juneau, AK

6. Do you like being in group dates or single?
- – Never done either…dunno.

7. Why?
- – Oh fer gawd’s sake.

8. Anyone on your mind?
- – Yeah.

9. Who was your last hug?
- – baby girl…the youngest one.

10. Who’d you get this survey from?
- – Margie

11. Do you currently like anyone?
- – Yeah.

12. Ever told someone you loved them and not mean it?
- – I don’t think so.

13. Ever been told you were loved by someone who didn’t mean it?
- – And just how would I know that?

14. Last person you hugged?
- – Didn’t you ask that already?

15. Have you ever been used?
- – Yeah, I think so.

16. Have you ever used anyone?
- – I dunno. Probably. Hope not, though.

18. Have you ever been cheated on?
- – Not as far as I know.

19. Is cheating acceptable in a relationship?
- – No. Doesn’t make women any less attractive, though.

20. Who’s your current best friend?
- – Don’t have one.

21. Who was your first real best friend?
- – Jenny Marcus, wayyyy back in Elementary school.

22. Are you still best friends with that person?
- – Nope.

23. What is your biggest fear?
- – Death.

24. Who was the last person to call you?
- – Nobody calls me.

25. Longest phone conversation?
- – Back in college, my wife-to-be and I tested the limits of a cordless phone battery.

26. Are you hungry?
- – usually.

27. Do you smoke?
- – No. Uck.

28. Want anything now?
- – A sandwich. A nice house. An Oxygen sensor for my car. Happiness in my home.

29. Last time you cried?
- – Almost 3 years ago.

30. Reason for the last time you cried?
- – Delayed reaction to losing my mom.

31. Ever done something really stupid?
- – Yup.

32. What can’t you go a day without doing?
- – Breathing. Being sarcastic.

33. Do you miss anyone?
- – Yup.

34. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
- – No.

35. Life?
- – Better than the alternative. And sunrises are beautiful.

36. Girl?
- – Three of ‘em. And a boy. He’s the oldest.

37. Myspace?
- – Yes it is.

38. Winter?
- – Cold. Pretty though.

39. Friends?
- – Don’t have much use for those.

40. Tattoo?
- – Boss! Boss! De Plane!

41. Last song?
- – Crush, Crush, Crush by Paramore

42. Last movie you watched?
- – Pirates of the Caribbean, At World’s End.

43. Birthday?
- – 3/16

44. What are you doing right now?
- – Besides the obvious…shirking work.

45. What should you be doing right now?
- – Work. Duh.

48. What means the most to you?
- – The sanctity of human life. Honesty. “Form Follows Function.”

49. Ever been in love?
- – Yup.

50. Do you believe in love at first sight?
- – Yup. Do I believe it’s practical? Nope.

51. Are you keeping a secret from someone that needs to know the truth?
- – Keeping a secret…oh, yes…what a tangled web. Need to know the truth? Nope.

52. Are your parents divorced?
- – Yup. One of ‘em’s even dead.

53. Eye color?
- – Blue-ish/Grey-ish

54. Hair color?
- – Brown-ish

55. Winter or summer?
- – Spring. Nyah!

56. Night or day?
- – Either. Without night there can be no dawn.

57. Biggest mistake you’ve made recently?
- – So many mistakes, so little time.

58. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
- – Want? Yes. Gonna get? Jeez lord no, they use needles for those!

59. Last time you had soda?
- – Lunch. Wait…now.

60. Do you believe in kissing on the first date?
- – Love to say yes…in practice, no.

65. Do you believe in sex on the first date?
- – REALLY love to say yes…in practice, I’ve turned it down. Damn these old-fashioned morals!

66. Where will you be in 4 years?
- – Same place I am now…but maybe in an office with a window.

67. Do you have your future planned out?
- – Loosely. The destination is circled, but the route isn’t inked in.

68. Do you want to get married?
- – My wife would prob’ly object.

69. Describe your life in one word?
- – Alright.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Life Is A History Lesson…You Learn It When You’re Through.
Current mood: thoughtful

One of my friends’ blogs spurred this. And since I only have like seven friends, they’ll know exactly who they are…no matter. Anywho, they opined that their dad had seen history. I hold that we all have, we just don’t realize it.When I was born, Nixon was president. I was one month old when Apollo 13 flew. I was two when the Munich Olympics were terrorized. I was three when Vietnam ended, and four when Nixon resigned. I was five when the Apollo/Soyuz mission flew. I was nine when Skylab fell out of orbit. I was seven when Star Wars was released.

I was nine when Iran took our people hostage, and eleven when they were released. I was ten when John Lennon was killed, when Mount St. Helens erupted in Washington state, and when Pac-Man was unleashed. I was eleven when Reagan and Pope John Paul II were shot, and when MTV first aired. I was sixteen when the Space Shuttle Challenger blew up, and when Chernobyl melted down. When the Berlin Wall fell, I was 19.

I was twenty when we fought Desert Storm, and 21 when the Soviet Union broke up. I was 19 when the World Wide Web was created…but first “surfed” it when I was 25. I was 21 when Nirvana put grunge on the air, and 24 when Kurt Cobain killed himself. I was 28 when the Clinton/Monica Lewinsky scandal and subsequent trial happened. I was 27 when England gave Hong Kong to the People’s Republic of China.

When the FBI burned down the Branch Davidian compound in Waco, TX, I was 22. I was also 22 for the Rodney King trial and subsequent LA riots. I was 25 when the Federal building in Oklahoma City was bombed. I was 27 when Princess Diana died…also when Mother Teresa died. I was 29 when the Columbine school shootings happened, and at the turn of the millenium. I was thirty-one on “9/11.” I was 32 when the Space Shuttle Columbia broke up over Texas on re-entry.

And on and on. I’ve seen the landing of robotic rovers on Mars, and a second war in the Middle East. I’ve seen the President of the U.S. appointed to office — not elected. I’ve seen the arrival of electric-gas hybrids in the mainstream market. I’ve seen at least two more countries become nuclear powers.

I’ve seen a lot of history in my life, even if it takes looking back and going “wow, I guess that was bigger than I thought.”

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MySpace, January 17 – 30, 2008

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

20 Deep Questions…
Current mood: chipper

This showed up in a bulletin from one of my friends. I thought I’d put it in my blog, rather than load it into the bulletin-shotgun and belabor everyone (that would be seven people) with it.Ultimately, I think this points out the embarrassing difference between what I know I should do in a situation, and what I’d actually do in a situation. The needs of modern society are a bitch.

20 deep questions that could really tell you something.
[ Not simple questions like "How Old Are You?" ]1. Is it difficult for you to look into some one’s eyes when you are telling them how you feel?

Actually, no.

2. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You get enough time to make ONE phone call. Who would you call?
My wife.4. You are at the doctor’s office and they have just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. (A) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? (B) What do you do with your remaining days? (C) Would you be afraid?
A – I’d like to say that I wouldn’t, and that I’d be virtuous and honorable and not burden everyone with my affliction…but I know me, and I’d blab it to everyone and secretly enjoy their mortification.
B – I’d like to say the easy answer — “live each day as if it were my last.” The grim reality is that I’d probably still go to work, and I’d spend much time on the internet looking for miracle cures. The other grim reality is that we simply don’t have the money to let me do anything other than what we already do — no quick trips around the world before I die or anything.
C – Terrified, absolutely petrified with fear. Hell, I already am.

5. You can have one of the following two things: love/trust
Trust. I’ve lived most of my life without love. Having my trust betrayed hurts more if it’s from someone you love.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
I would like to say that I’d save the dog. With the job I currently have, I’d save the dog because my boss isn’tgoing to fire me. Given this artificial situation, though, I’d let the dog drown — if I lose my job, I can’t feed and house my wife and my four children, and their life is more important to me than a dog’s life.

7. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Since I was a boy, I’ve always wanted to fly a WWII airplane to Henderson Field on Guadalcanal, in the Solomon Islands in the South Pacific.

8. Think of the last person who you really knew that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Do you?
No. That person is my mother. I would hope she wouldn’t want her only child to give up a whole year just for her. Regardless, I wouldn’t deprive MY children of one of their parents for an entire year, just for another hour with my mother — I would love the chance to see my mother again, but not enough to do that. As a side point, I fear she’d spend the entire hour making me feel the way she did when she was alive…

9. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
No. Not even close.

10. Does love = sex?
No. I’m not sure anything equals sex these days. Four kids notwithstanding, I’ve spent more of my life not having sex than otherwise. I’m the most celibate pervert I know.

11. Your best friend dies, what would you do?
I don’t really have a best friend. In fact, I don’t really have any friends. I really don’t know how to answer this question.

12. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt?
All the time. My wife and I are very close, and we tell each other everything. That said, when I tell her how I honestly feel, she usually gets mad at me. Doesn’t seem to stop me, though.

13. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you don’t love them back?
It depends on the someone. It would be much, MUCH harder for me to tell my wife that I don’t love her back (if you’re reading this, HYPOTHETICAL situation, honey!). On the other hand, if a co-worker at random told me she (or he) loved me, it wouldn’t be hard at all to respond with an “I don’t like you like that.”

14. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
I don’t know if it’d be my marriage or my children. The thought of either is gut-wrenching.

15. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them?
It’s embarrassing, but I don’t know. I don’t say it much; I KNOW I don’t say it enough.

16. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you had “no regrets” what would it be?
When I was young, and expressed a love of flying, my mother told me I would never be able to fly a plane because I have glasses. I believed her and gave up on my dream. Knowing what I know now, I would go slap myself in the back of the head, ignore my mother and push for that dream.

17. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. Who do you call.
I call nobody. I go outside with a flashlight and my double-barrel shotgun and I take care of the situation myself. Somebody’s going to wet themself before the night’s over.

18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?
Most likely, I would. They might be disgusting, but a human life is sacred.

19. Are you old-fashioned?
I’d like to say I’m not, that I’m a hip, contemporary guy. Things throughout my life have proven, though, that when the chips are down, I fall back on old-fashioned values every single time. I hold doors open for people, I let others go first, I try not to interrupt, I would never let my daughter go out in public “like that,” and when I was given a chance, I did NOT take advantage of that drunk, horny girl when I was in college.

20. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heart break or to have never loved before?
William Shakespeare wrote that “it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved before.” I would have to go with that.

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Monday, January 28, 2008

My Knuckles Hurt.
Current mood: content

Yes, my knuckles hurt. If I were truly manly I’d follow with a story about how I got in a fight at the bar and put a guy in the hospital, and made a 300lb Samoan cry. Guess I’m not truly manly. I got the snot wacked out of my knuckles at tae kwon do by the 7-year-old I was stick-fighting with. We use about 3′ of 1/2″ PVC pipe inside a thin pool-noodle, wrapped with duct tape. This kid was totally not holding back on his swings, either. Two-handed, swinging it like a baseball bat. I had no problem blocking 99% of it all, but he landed a fair number of swats on my knucks. It’s a fun hurt, though. Not like the last time I went and got pwn3d by the dude I already bitched about.Otherwise, the cold snap broke. It hit 46 degrees here. In Michigan. In January. It’s a nice change from being nine degrees. Real nice. The slush melted off the car. I was able to drive fast enough to charge the battery. I didn’t have to wear a fleece jacket under an inflatable snowboarding coat, with wool hat, eskimo gloves, and fleece-lined jeans. I could dress like a human and just wear a coat. Yes, I said inflatable coat. It was a present from my wife a couple of years ago and aside from being ruined by a dry cleaner, it’s a great coat. It’s got a maze of rubber tubing inside, and you blow in through a one-way valve to inflate the coat with your warm exhale and create a warm air-chamber insulation layer. It’s nice.

That said, I think I’m gonna go grab some Ho-Ho’s and surf the rest of the internet.

Currently listening :
Sing, Sing, Sing
By Benny Goodman
Release date: 25 October, 1990

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Sunday, January 27, 2008

Weekend? What Weekend?
Current mood: pissy

It doesn’t seem fair, really. Here it is, only 16 minutes left in the weekend, and by the time I’ve posted this it’ll be Monday, and I will be officially up too late, and only be able to get 5-1/2 hours of sleep at the most. It just doesn’t seem fair, this whole 5:2 ratio of workdays to weekend days. I know I’m not the first to bellyache about this, but that doesn’t make any more fair, either.I work a standard 9-to-5 job, (8 to 4:30, really) and have a half-hour commute each way, making for 9.5 hours per day taken up by work. Then, there’s the two hours each morning it takes to wake up, get the kids up and help get them ready for school. That makes it 11.5 hours — from 5:30am when my alarm goes off to 5:00pm when I get home. There’s dinner — either I’m helping get the babies set for dinner, or I’m making it and helping get the babies set. After dinner there’s the 4-children-sized mess to clean up. Say it isn’t really all done until 7pm. I’ve just spent 5:30am until 7:00pm on nothing but work, work work. The twins are really screamy and need to be put to sleep somewhere between 8pm and 9pm.

It leaves about an hour, maybe two every day of somewhat leisure time. If I haven’t fallen asleep with a baby on me, I can most nights get some computer time after 11pm or so…which makes me officially up too late, etc, and the circle is complete.

So we have two days of weekend. Lately, we’ve been packing in house-shopping every weekend for the past month; trekking all over four counties looking at homes, dragging increasingly aggravated kids with us. When we aren’t doing that, we’ve been mucking out the house from the work-week’s worth of scattered toys, crumbled snack crumbs, dirty dishes, muddy laundry and blown light bulbs. After the weekend, I swear I need a weekend. There have been some weekends where I’m actually glad to be going to work on Monday, so I can finally relax a little.

And something else — I would bet a dollar that nothing I’m doing at work is so critical that it needs to monopolize so many days of my week. So somebody’s computer doesn’t get installed on Tuesday, but on Wednesday. In a hundred years, who’s going to know the difference? I’d like to think that I work to support my family…not that I have a family to support my work. But the amount of time that my job demands of me makes me start to think otherwise. I’m damn lucky my twins took their first steps on a Saturday, because if it’d been during the week, I’d have missed it.

It isn’t fair.

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Thursday, January 24, 2008

They’re Mobile!
Current mood: drunk

(Let me apologize in advance…I’m drunk. I’ve had lots of a very nice zinfandel, and I may be more of an asshole than usual.)

Both of my babies started walking this week.This is big, so let me say it again: Both of my babies started walking this week. It’s a milestone — not only because we need to move the babyproofing up by about two feet. My twins now can motivate around like real people. They’ve gotten pretty proficient at crawling — they can put their head down and bull forward at a good clip — but now they’ve taken their first venture into adult transportation.

Maybe I could take a minute and bore you with some exposition. If you don’t know what that is, look it up.

www.m-w.com (That’s Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary.)I have four children. I have a seven-year-old son, a five-year-old daughter, and one-year-old twin daughters. My son is a tad bit Autistic — as crackpot as it sounds we can control his Autism with a special diet, and we do, and he’s more or less normal. So it’s the twins that just learned to walk.

My son learned to walk when we were in the first and only house we ever actually bought. We tricked him into it with a walker toy…we held it for him, and when he reached for it we inched it away from him and he walked for it without even realizing what he was doing. When he DID realize, he stood there (all of 14 months old) yelling “YEAH! YEAH!!”

My oldest daughter first walked at a Leelanau Peninsula winery, when we were wine-tasting with my dad. Maybe that explains a lot about her. ‘Nuff said.

And of the twins, the younger one first walked on Saturday, at my oldest daughter’s ballet class. The older one walked a day or two later in our kitchen.

So saying, it’s now time to move. We seem to be always destined to move away from wherever we live when one of our children learns to walk. By summer we will be living somewhere else. We’d like to stay in the house we’re in now, but our landlord is simply asking too much money — put it this way…we can get my wife’s dream house for $3000 less than our landlord is asking for a creaky, dingy house that’s been trashed by renters. For $33,000 less we can have a 4-bedroom Victorian with beautiful original woodwork, a 2-car garage/workshop, and a huge double lot, across the road from a park and a block away from a lake — the next town over. Is not-moving worth $33,000? Seems not.

But I digress. My babies are walking. Life is good — scarier, but good.

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Saturday, January 19, 2008

Cold. Cold? Cold.
Current mood: awake

So, I know I said it was cold yesterday. But that was yesterday. Today it’s cold. Yesterday it was almost ten. Right now it’s about -4 degrees. That’s “minus four.” Four below zero. Not on the Celsius scale, where that’d be balmy. No, four below zero Fahrenheit. Frigid cold. Damn cold. It’s like, ten thirty at night and dark, that helps. Today at the heat of the day, it might have hit ten…and it was hella-windy, and snowy. Felt like walking through a Siberian meat locker. Uck.On the other hand, it LOOKED really beautiful outside. We drove to town, and it was sunny for the drive. There was fresh snow from last night, and the morning sun lit up the whitened pine trees and made it look like a total winter wonderland. Sure, if you stuck your nose out the window it’d crystallize and fall off, but it LOOKED really nice.

Oh yeah, and we ate lunch at Olive Garden. Ain’t nuthin’ wrong ’bout that!

Currently listening :
Lazy Eye
By Silversun Pickups
Release date: 24 September, 2007

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Friday, January 18, 2008

And Welcome To Michigan

It’s snowing.Yeah, and in other news, the sun came up. Does it snow a lot in Michigan? Only on the days that end in “Y.” I had my arse out at six in the morning clearing the driveway with our asthmatic snowblower. What’s it like at six in the morning, in January, in Michigan?

It’s cold. Cold and dark. How cold? Nine. Nine degrees. You shouldn’t be able to spell the temperature. The accepted AP style for writing numbers less than 10 is to spell them out, you know? It’s like “I’d like to buy a second digit, Pat…a seven.” And Pat has to say, “I’m sorry, no sevens in this temperature. It’s nine.”

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Thursday, January 17, 2008

What Is The F, Dude?
Current mood: bummed

I’ve been noticing a disturbing (disquieting? disgusting?) trend in people in general. The only time lots of people do anything quickly, or assertively, or decisively…is when they’re being an asshole. The only time people duck through a door quickly is when they want to let it close on you. The only time people change lanes quickly in their car is when they want to cut you off. The only time people walk quickly is when they want to be in front of you in a line. And on and on and on.Most of the time, people seem to shuffle through life in a sort of collective unconsciousness. Existing, not living. They don’t look at me as they pass by. They don’t look at the trees, or sky, or snow, or anything…just a blank stare walking by me. Usually with a cell phone mashed against their ear. That’s the worst. Not only are they detached from what they’re really doing…but their conversation is detached from what they’re talking to. How many people on cell phones sound like this: “I’m getting out of work…..getting out of work…..out of work….work. WORK! What? What? What? What? It’s okay. It’s okay, Okay. Okay!”

Honestly, how much of a waste is that? Not only is the entire subject of the call the simple fact that they just got out of work…but the person they’re calling should honestly be able to surmise that fact by just looking at a clock. And the technology fails them so badly that they can’t even get that sad fact across.

But really, is the human race really only alive when we’re trying to screw someone over? Lately it sure seems that way. Nobody expends the energy unless it’ll squash another human at least a little. It saddens me. It really does.

Currently listening :
Battle Without Honor or Humanity
By Tomoyasu Hotei
Release date: 12 July, 2004

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