MySpace, April 20 – May 26, 2008

Monday, May 26, 2008

So What’s The Big Deal?

Okay, so I guess I just don’t get what the big deal is about MySpace. I signed on so I could have a place to blog, ‘cuz keeping a journal is supposed to reduce stress…at least the “experts” say so. That, and it’s kind of neat to play around with profiles and edit the style pages a bit. That’s all I do here. Really. This whole emphasis on friends at this site serves only to point out to me just how many people I don’t know. I have what, ten friends? Maybe? And two of them are a radio station?I just spent the last hour looking for the few people I know…and failed. I looked for people who I went to high school with…and failed. I looked for people I knew in college…and failed. I looked for people I used to work with…and failed. I looked for people I work with NOW…and failed.

In part, this has to be backlash from living a life largely without friends. I haven’t kept up with anybody…and now I have no idea where they are or what they’re doing. I honestly don’t know how people on here can have over a thousand friends. Do they just “friend me” to everyone they run into? Are they just an icon collection to them? I don’t get it.

Maybe I’ll have to cop out and see how many bands I can collect…but it’s not like they’re going to really pay attention to little ol’ me, anyway. I could try to connect with all of the 15 year old hotties here…if I were one of the 32,000 registered sex offenders who have MySpace accounts.


And worse, the only people who DO read this are people who know me, so I have to be kind of sanitary here. I’m thinking of moving this whole thing to some other blogging site so I don’t hafta worry about it anymore.

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Friday, May 23, 2008

I’m That Guy

I’m that guy…you know, THAT guy. The guy with dirt under his fingernails, and grease on his hands. I’m the guy who likes to work on his own car, who replaced the clutch in his own motorcycle. I’m the guy who likes to install faucets and light fixtures, and likes to build things around the house. I’m the guy who likes digging holes and planting trees and who likes fixing the lawnmower almost as much as using it. I’m the guy with a 60lb toolbox, and power tools, and various solvents and oils in the garage. I’m the guy who likes waxing the car, and knows that rubbing compound will take out most scratches on the car. I’m the guy who likes to shoot stuff with a shotgun…and then reload his own shells, and then shoot more stuff. I’m the guy who spends the weekend in dirty jeans, a t-shirt and a baseball cap, rather than shower and shave all 7 days of the week. Yeah, I’m that guy.

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Saturday, May 17, 2008

I’m That Guy

I’m THAT guy. No, not HIM…the other one. I’m the guy who’s been married for eleven years to the same woman. I’m the guy who has four kids…all with the same woman….whom I’m married to. I’m the guy who drives the crappy car and lets my wife have the nice one, because she hauls our kids around…or at least I did when the nice car held all the kids at once. I’m the guy who actually likes mowing grass, and snowblowing the driveway, and painting the kitchen, and watering the flowers. I’m the guy whose favorite sound is the laughter of my children. I’m the guy who can’t stand it when my job takes me to the pediatrics floor of the hospital, because I abhor the sound of children crying in pain. I’m the guy who thinks that Christmas is for the children, and that Santa Claus is alive in every one of us. I’m the guy who thinks that a child’s innocence is sacrosanct, and that those who violate and shatter that innocence should be removed from our society….unpleasantly. I’m the guy who wears my wife’s high-school ring around my neck, every single day; who feels naked when he forgets to put on his wedding band. I’m the guy who may joke about various hot-looking women, but who would never cheat on his wife. I’m the guy who thinks less (MUCH less) of guys who put their wife down while out with “the guys.” I’m the guy who’ll give $5 to a homeless person, and try to preserve their dignity when I do it. (“Excuse me, I think you dropped this, sir.”) I’m the guy who’ll help push a neighbor or a stranger out of the ditch. I’m the guy who’ll drop work in a heartbeat if my family needs me. I’m the guy who weeps every time he hears a newborn’s first cry. I’m the guy who wants to show my family the world. I’m the guy who wants to barbecue burgers on the deck, and roast marshmallows over the campfire. I’m the guy who’s a father, and a husband, and wouldn’t change that for anything.Yeah, I’m that guy.

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Friday, May 16, 2008

I’m That Guy

I’m that guy. You know, THAT guy. I’m that guy with glasses, Dockers and a button-up shirt, wearing track shoes. I’m that guy who says “I need to return this” when he’s thinking “take yer fuckin’ piece o’shit back and give me my goddamn money back.” I’m that guy driving the Volvo, with jazz coming out of the windows, but not TOO loud. I’m that guy who looks like a repressed asshole, like a college-educated jerk — kind of pudgy like he’s never done an honest day’s labor in his life. I’m that guy who looks uptight enough to blush if a girl looks at him. I’m that guy who gets caught looking at a girl’s legs and tries to camoflage it by looking for a garbage can that isn’t there, or something. I’m that guy who looks like a nerd…a twitchy nerd…a twitchy, uptight, Volvo-driving, stupid-expression-wearing, nerd. Yeah, I’m that guy.

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Saturday, May 10, 2008

Bloggity Blog

I haven’t blogged here in a while. It’s become harder to really let myself say what I want around people that I know. I know anything I blog here is going to be read by my neighbor, and my tae-kwon-do classmate, and my brother-in-law, and my wife and…well most of my friends are people I know. So I can’t blog anything about them. Some of my friends live in the same house as me…so I can’t blog —— and as punctuates most everything I do, a baby pooped and I have to stop what I’m doing and go handle shit.

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Friday, April 25, 2008

I Dunno

What’s wrong with people? Are we actually getting stupider (legitmate word if you’re in 4th grade) or is there just an extreme shortage of people willing to point a finger and say (loudly) “Hey, you! You’re doing it wrong!”Today, I was waiting to turn left out of a driveway. I had to wait for cars…nothing strange there. But then the guy waiting to turn left INTO the driveway waved me out. There were no other cars coming, but there WERE cars waiting behind him. I stared at him for a second, then waved him out of the way with both arms… the physical version of “hey, stupid, get outta the road!” And he waved me out again, this time impatiently. To get things moving, I pulled out — squealed out, actually, and in the company van, too.

I fumed about it the whole time I was driving. I mean fer chrissakes, don’t they tell drivers anymore that if they’re in the middle of the road, they shouldn’t just STOP and wave people out of driveways? If they don’t have anyplace to be, maybe the drivers BEHIND them actually want to go somewhere. Thus the reason they’re in CARS, on the ROAD, trying to DRIVE SOMEWHERE! And I thought about it some more. Why didn’t the guy behind him honk or something? He was being a moron and holding up traffic…I’D have honked — a long, loud “Git the f*ck outta the road, you f*cktarded ass-mummy!!” If I’d have put the van in Park and gotten out, he’d have been mad at ME.

And I thought about it in a broader sense. The morons rule the world. They cross the centerline of the highway while driving…and the people they’re playing chicken with don’t flash a light or honk a horn or anything. Morons pull out in front of people, then slam on their brakes and turn…and nobody honks or anything. Morons cough or sneeze on you or your family, and if you say anything they either pretend they don’t notice, or they get mad at YOU.

One time, I was waiting in a long line to pay at a Cracker Barrel restaurant in Indiana, and this dizzy bitch walked past everyone and straight up to a register. NOBODY said anything…so I did.
“Ex-CUSE me, but wait your turn.”
“Oh,” (and this absolutely floored me) “I thought I just walked right up…”

I thought I just walked right up?! Never mind the eight people waiting with their bill in their hands. Never mind the existence of lines since the beginning of freaking HISTORY…no, SHE thought she’d just walk RIGHT UP! Gawd! How did she survive the drive to the place? How many red lights did she run because “I thought they meant everyone else,” and how many pedestrians did she run over while driving on the sidewalk because “I thought I just drove over here…” Is she serious? Really?

So I dunno. Maybe it’s because the biggest thing anyone reads anymore is an issue of People magazine. Maybe it’s the whole Real World-Surreal Life-The Osbournes-ANTM-Survivor-Big Brother-Tila Tequila-Paris Hilton-Hamster Dance-America’s Got Talent mentality that’s being fostered by our televisions. Maybe it’s all the artificial colors in our food. Maybe everyone’s Zoloft is reacting with their Zantac and causing stupidity. I dunno, but it’s really annoying.

Hey! Stupid people! Please stop!

9:50 PM 0 Comments0 KudosAdd CommentEdit Remove

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Current mood:

I haven’t blogged anything in a while, and should. It’s harder to do when people who know me read my blog…like, oh, I dunno…my wife. Can’t go on about my extra-marital exploits; can’t complain about my girlfriend’s shortcomings; can’t talk about that court order at ALL.Yeah.

My brother-in-law (BIL) moved in with us last weekend. We cleaned out a corner of our basement and made a space for him. It kind of saddens us that all we can offer is an unfinished basement — bare cement, plastic sheeting over the pink insulation for walls, and the ceiling is floor joists and heating ductwork. I was able to run a couple of extension cords to his “room” for power for his 47 different video game systems. He’s also borrowing one of our cars while his is KO’d. Again, I’m kind of embarrassed that it’s older than he is — it’s an ’84 Crown Victoria…it’s navy blue, 17 feet long and slow. It gets all the gas mileage of a V8, and has all the power of a 4-cylinder.

On the other hand, I’m actually proud to be have something to offer — we finally have a house big enough that we can clear out a 10×12 (or so) room without really cramping our lifestyle (if we actually have a lifestyle…I suspect we don’t.) and we have a car that is in decent shape that has done nothing but sit for a year — heck, my BIL driving it is actually HELPING us out…the car needed to be driven to kind of keep it in working order. It’s not going to send us to the poorhouse to have another person living here, not by a long shot, and that’s a decent feeling.

(subject change…) Home improvement season has started. Some people call it spring, I think. We’re starting to work on the house to start making it what we want. We put in new solar lights by the sidewalk, and we’re testing out different samples of paint on the walls. I stained the porch, deck and the kids’ swingset, and they all look much better. We’re starting to water the yard, and the grass we planted last fall is sprouting nicely this spring.

Oh, and I got Guitar Hero III for about 1/2 what it costs in the store, so I’ve been playing the $!t out of that for the past coupla days. It’s not a real guitar, but it’s fun.


11:41 PM 0 Comments0 KudosAdd CommentEdit Remove


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