Marathon Day

Mein Gott in Himmel.  That’s all I can say after the day today was.  (happens to be an awkward sentence, but meh)

Today my oldest daughter had her ballet recital…then we had to go to a wedding, wherein my oldest daughter was the flower girl.  And my wife was the “wedding coordinator.”  Just nobody told HER that before hand…but more on that later.

So how did my day go?  Well, once at the recital, my job consisted of wrangling the twins and slapping my son’s hands whenever he made a twin scream…which meant I slapped a hand about every 5.4 seconds.  The recital was an hour…an hour spent shushing toddlers, corralling toddlers, holding toddlers, picking up toddlers and fetching toys for toddlers.

Then we went to eat, which was okay.  Then to the wedding, where we got there an hour-and-a-half early…an hour and a half spent keeping toddlers off the photographer’s stuff, out of other people’s stuff, and out of the way.  And once the wedding started, I spent another hour pushing toddlers in a stroller, fetching dropped bottles and shushing screams.   And after the wedding we went to the reception where again it was time spent shushing toddlers, putting toddlers in high chairs, taking toddlers out of high chairs and keeping toddlers from getting stepped in by already-drunk wedding guests.

So from 10:30a.m. until about 6:30 p.m. my day was a blur of toddler-control, and I ended up tired, but feeling like I hadn’t been anywhere or done anything.

Oh, and the wedding coordinator thing?  My wife thought she was just to stand at the head of the aisle and tell the bridesmaids when to start walking…until people started telling her she had to control the bride’s fucktard/brat son, and was supposed to have decorated the pews, and was to help the bride get dressed, and decorate the entire church, actually, and the reception hall, and the minister her own damn self (pun intended) was ON my wife about everything.  Would’ve been nice to get a heads-up on that one.

Oh, and my wife dropped our (her) nice digital camera and it’s broken.  It shoots video okay, but photos have suckworthy horizontal bars across them.  Yaysticks and happyturds.  Just what we needed…to spend a hundred bucks on another camera, or on a repair on a camera that’s only worth about a hundred bucks.

But I guess, once we got home, I had a glass of port wine, and we made pudding.  A day that ends with pudding is a day that ends well, I guess.  Mmmm…….pudding.  <sigh>

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