I’d like to share some new words that my family and I have found or invented. We use these words in our daily life, when the rest of the English language just doesn’t seem to have the perfect word. I guess Rich Hall called them “sniglets.”
shart — You thought you’d let out a little frrp, you really meant to only let out a little frrp, but you had to wipe and throw out your underpants.
hiccurp — My oldest daughter does this all the time. A hiccup, followed by a belch. “Hiccup–ralch.”
linner — It’s too late for lunch, but it’s too early for dinner. 3:30 p.m., for instance. In the same vein as “brunch” in the late morning. Usually it’s when the family is out doing something, and we get done in the mid-afternoon, and if we drove home and cooked dinner, it’d be a lot of work and we wouldn’t eat until 7:00, but if we stopped somewhere for food it’d be too early. So we stop for food and call it “linner.”
snart — “Achoofrrp!” Yup, this is gas being expelled at both ends…a sneeze-fart. My theory is that the increased muscle tension of a really good sneeze just squeezes out that bit of southbound gas. This is not as traumatic as….
snoop — “Achooplop! Ow!” How many times have you been sitting on the porcelain office chair, biding your time, when you have a sudden sneeze and everything that was waiting comes shooting out like a torpedo? The sneeze-poop has the capability of doing a real shock’n awe number on your rear exit, depending. It almost goes without saying….you’re hopefully not fully clothed when this happens.
voluntold — Another one I didn’t make up, but it’s so accurate. Your boss, or spouse (same thing, really) says, “So, I told (someone) that you’d help them (insert some task you don’t want to do).” I’ve had to mow neighbors’ yards and help people move because of this. Can’t tell them “no,” because it’d make you look like a big dick if you did. Didn’t tell them “yes,” though.
yelch — Very similar to the hiccurp, you’re in the middle of a nice, satisfying yawn, mouth wide open, when something primal comes ricocheting out of your throat and scares the cat. “Yyyyyaaaawwww-AALLLLCCCCHHHHH!“